A baby changes your life forever.
Time becomes a luxury and sleep becomes akin to finding the holy grail - forever teasing you with its illusiveness. For there's always something to do... diaper change, feed, burp, diaper change, feed, burp, laundry, dishes - repeated a million times over with so many other things that you have to do. A five minute hot shower becomes a sanctuary, and having some time to yourself is a godsend.
So when does it get better?
Labor, just like my pregnancy, was no easy feat. After two false alarms, I was not going back to the hospital until I knew it was go-time. On the estimated due date (November 7th), I had a craving for Mexican - specifically, the carne asada from Pacos Tacos. I was eating spicy foods in an effort to move the contractions along and speed up the labor process. Just up Centinela, we walked over to Hotcakes - winner of Food Network's Cupcake Wars with their Tres Leches Spicy Mango cupcake - for dessert. Definitely worth the extra calories!
Since it was a Monday evening, we watched "How I Met Your Mother" - one of my favorite television shows. All the while, I had mild contractions that weren't too different from any other time. But the pain got worse and by 10pm, I asked MS to start timing the frequencies and durations of each one. They were getting closer together, stronger and much more unbearable.
MS asked, "Are you sure you want to go to the hospital?"
"WTF?! Don't you see that I'm in pain?!"
{Add in many more expletives and curses.}
So off to Labor & Delivery we went. I was three centimeters dilated and admitted to the hospital after being observed for a couple hours. The epidural went in and it was just a matter of time.
Fast forward to 5pm and after doses of pitocin, having my water broken manually and with a temperature ranging between 99 and 104 degrees, I was told that my cervix was only about five centimeters and that I needed to have a c-section. So after 20+ hours of labor, I was prepped for surgery.
The details of the actual surgery are a mystery to me, as I was given a lot more pain medication that numbed everything below my chest. I concentrated on breathing as I felt my body going into shock and spasms. I remember feeling very cold - to the point that my teeth were uncontrollably chattering.
Finally, MS appeared after getting prepped to enter the surgical room and held my hand. I squeezed his hand to draw my focus to his warmth and away from the thought of impending surgery. The doctors told me I would feel a lot of pressure and some tugging when they cut me open. At one point, they asked me a lot of questions - was I allergic to any medications? Yes, an antibiotic. OK, we'll use another one. Do you have asthma? Yes, a mild case. Have you been admitted to the hospital for an asthma attack? Yes. When was that? Last weekend. And I could have sworn the doctors consulted with each other about how to proceed and what to do versus not do.
When they finally cut me open, I felt the tugging and pressure. But that was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my upper chest. With eyes closed, I tried to go to my "happy place" in my mind and redirect my energies to try to breathe in and out as steadily as I could.
With eyes still shut, I was physically and mentally exhausted. When the doctors told me to open my eyes and see our beautiful baby boy, I couldn't believe he was just inside me a few moments earlier.
The doctors asked, "What's his name?"
I was glad MS answered for the both of us, "Chase."
A month later, Chase is healthy and growing into a big boy - 10 pounds and counting. Things are getting better with each passing day and with the help of family and friends. I'm healing well from the surgery, and I marvel at his many gestures and his baby features.
Chase is truly Love Made Visible, as I'm reminded of The Art of Chase and his positive messages:
Follow your heart;
Where attention goes - energy flows;
You are too blessed to be stressed; and
The only time is right now.
I'm cherishing each moment spent with Chase and MS, and feel so blessed that Chase is in our lives.
Pacos Tacos
add: 4141 S. Centinela Avenue | Los Angeles, CA 90066
tel: 1.310.391.9616
url: www.pacoscantina.com
Hotcakes
add: 4119 S. Centinela Avenue | Los Angeles, CA 90066
tel: 1.310.397.2324
hrs: M-Sa 9a-7p. Su 10a-6p
url: www.hotcakesbakes.com
The Art of Chase
2 comments:
Major congrats to the both of you! Chase looks like a happy, and very healthy boy!
Thanks Kirk-san! It's hard to believe how big he's already getting and how fast he's growing! :)
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